Treading the Line

I ain’t no expert on human psychology to comment on something that I wish to touch here. Thoughts have been crossing my mind about the power of being “non-judgmental”, about being “rational”, about being a “moderate” .This all sounds pretty much boring to you (Yes, I am indeed talking to you because I value what you think when you read my stuff) but this has been something which has been hitting on probably every part of my communication with the external environment.

I will start with something as trivial as using a “good” instead of a “best”. Just follow this simple exercise where you replace all superlatives with their relatively poorer-as-they-sound comparative counterparts. You will soon be able to see the difference. It becomes more acceptable to the person who is taking it. It becomes more substantial. It sounds more genuine. And most importantly it is something which you really meant. Even in a compliment this leaves a scope for a person to improve (believe me travelling from a good to a best is no easy job if you are really taking the journey) I, for once had this idea of using superlatives the moment I had to comment on a thing be it living/non living. But lately I have been giving it a thought for instance if I say, "You are one of the best things to happen to me!" Did I really mean that? Have I ever thought before this moment of all the things that have happened to me leave alone about being able to differentiate between good or bad? (It’s not something that I can’t distinguish between good or bad) but I certainly can’t say what the best is. And when I say best I am acting such a pessimist by thinking that probably all the things that are waiting to happen to me will be sub this. So what exactly is my idea of putting it the way I have done? Are there some vested interests playing their role behind this coming out of me? Am I trying flattery to deceive? Whereas a “You are one of the good things to have happened to me” has all the right things about it. No air, no fuss, no pretence; just a genuine little feeling that pops out right from my heart. Here I have also done some of the things the right way. I have stayed moderate no matter how good that thing was, I have kept up my rational stand although a brief span of irrationality did bother my tiny rational cells (I will term the rational cells as tiny and for this moment even less powerful than their irrational counterparts because in this tussle they still are the underdogs) and I was certainly “Non judgmental as I did not judge between what was the best or say good for me. I feel good for myself (look! It’s again good)This also helps you when you are making choices and making recos.It makes you come across as a person who knows what he says, one who is measured and one who means what he says.

Well, lastly I wish to say that I have nothing against the superlative beings(as human beings).It’s just that I feel I still have sometime before I start using them, before I start feeling their weight and before I really start meaning them. What I am practicing today with them is a complete injustice to the way they were meant to be used as, a trial and error approach where by I throw it and hope that it sticks, if it doesn’t I throw it again and expect it sticks this time. Long before I loose the weight of my comments(how-so-ever little it may be)I guess I realized it that it ain’t my cup of tea as yet .For the moment though good is good enough for me!

Random Thoughts

Well there is no coherent thought process that is going behind this piece of writing (I know it already sounds crappy).I had taken such a long sabbatical that I was dreading getting back to writing. But what made me start writing is equally absurd as the content. Loads of time at hand and that too during the office hours and I have no one to blame other than me. My mentor has been asking me all this while to get my ass in the office by 9:30 in the morning (Don’t make that “aah” expression because a mentor can ask you to come at 9:30 when he is relieving you of your duties at 5:30 the day before)
And I screwed it up again (yeah, this was not the first time I was turning up late for work ,I have done this on a regular basis) coming not any time before 10:30.Going by any standards there was no excuse that can possibly cover up for a such a big gaffe but out from my kitty came a probably by now worn out excuse, my-bus-was-late(I know I could have done better)I don’t even remember the last time I took a bus let alone taking it today. But now having done this I tried it all to get things back in place, the moment I rested my ass on the office chair I logged in and was working till 11:30 without a break, my eyes completely glued to the computer screen. What I was doing is another interesting thing. I conducted an interview of Mr.XYZ when I say an interview don’t think I was checking his philosophical or intellectual quotient, it was only that I was trying to get info from him on a particular topic which was of interest to my organization and obviously to me as well(Obviously doesn’t here justify my new found patriotism towards the organization, its just that I am interning and would want to get off this work asap)Now I was supposed to write the account of that interview way back on last Wednesday and the way I have put it to my mentor and the other colleagues they were assuming that I was done with it by Thursday but NO! I hadn’t done it. (when your are an engineer ,the thing which is the closest to your heart is doing stuff only when the poker is entirely inside your ass and another thing that adds on to it is you do not know whose name is on the handle)But I guess this was a blessing in disguise not having completed it in time as this gave me a chance to keep myself busy for almost more than an hour thus escaping the eyes of my mentor. Although scribbling down the account of the interview it is expected of me to reproduce it the way it was done and the way I was doing made little sense. It was as if I had rented the brains of Mr.XYZ and was sitting pretty much inside them while opening all the doors of that little messy thing at my will to see if there was anything to my liking or wanting. Well these doors also included the imaginary ones which had exactly the info I wanted. This makes me wonder it sounds so good this way as in, imaginary ways give you the ideal solutions.

Ssshh…..back to where I left it, as the time was passing by and the clock ticked well past 11,I was very happy that my mentor hasn’t noticed me and I can fake my In-time. But to my dismay no sooner did I mail the document to the senior and went to his desk he just said it, “So, sir where were you till 10:30?”Damn, I thought I had it all under control and I thought I had almost pulled it off but this guy said it and don’t get misled by the sir he used, he has this peculiar way of saying it, I just hope it is out of respect and not sarcasm.(I almost pulled it off even while writing this, I am talking about my in-time)I actually got ma ass in the office at only around 10:45,I wasn’t going to mention it but my conscience threatened me a moment ago that I better write it or He(I give it an undue respect)is on his way out so scaring the exit of the only good thing that I had I decided on writing it. I know by now even you don’t remember what I was talking about but then this is sometimes a problem with me while writing I suddenly find myself lost somewhere in the plot and when I realize that I should get on with the main stuff its usually very late and this makes me only summarizing about what was supposedly meant to be the most important part and thus making my crappy writing even more crappy.And so for an answer to the dreaded question came my equally lame answer. Disappointed at hearing it, he enacted similar parts of the scrip and added “Everyday you have one reason or the other” Damn ,Damn and I would want to write more damn ,can’t he have said something else? And there was more to follow when he finally said, “I don’t have time now, and we will sit in the second half”. Now this was the last thing I wanted at that moment. I nodded in unison as if I was so very much in support of the procrastination but the inner self was cursing the whole of me, especially my eyes for not waking up to the alarm. (people say he/she is so lazy, they should rather say his/her eyes are so lazy after all it’s the function of the eye to open up, what can I do if my some part of my body is malfunctioning?)Btw this is not the end of the story there’s more to it than meets the eye. The reason I got out of bed late had something to do with what I was doing yesterday post 7 in the evening. No I wasn’t up to some brain crunching stuff but I was watching after-all-not-so-good stuff on YouTube (See its eyes again) It’s so funny that the reason I wrote all this is courtesy the videos that I was watching a day before. I guess sometimes the reasons to an outcome lie well beyond the normal reasoning……